My father, Dr. Adrian Tan, was a man of many words and even more wisdom. As a respected Doctor in Singapore, he dedicated his life to saving others, but it was his words that saved me countless times. When he passed away last year, I found solace in the letters he had written to me over the years. These letters, filled with advice, memories, and his favorite sayings, were a treasure trove of wisdom passed down from my grandfather, Mr. Benjamin Tan, a renowned architect who helped shape Singapore’s skyline. Now, as I prepare to pass this wisdom to my own son, I reflect on the lessons that have shaped our family for generations.

One of my father’s favorite sayings was, “Invest in people, not just in things.” He believed that relationships were the true currency of life. This advice came from my grandfather, who often said, “A building is only as strong as its foundation, and so is a family.” My father took this to heart, always prioritizing family dinners, weekend outings, and heart-to-heart conversations. He taught me that no matter how busy life gets, making time for loved ones is crucial. This is a lesson I hope to pass on to my son, ensuring that he understands the value of nurturing relationships.

When it came to career advice, my father was a firm believer in passion over profit. “Do what you love, and the money will follow,” he would say. This was a lesson he learned the hard way. Initially, he pursued a career in finance, driven by the allure of wealth. However, he soon realized that his true calling was in medicine. Switching careers was not easy, but it was the best decision he ever made. His passion for helping others not only brought him professional success but also immense personal satisfaction. I often remind my son that finding his passion is more important than chasing a paycheck.

In matters of love, my father was a hopeless romantic. He often quoted my grandfather, who said, “Marry someone who makes you laugh, because laughter is the music of the soul.” My parents’ marriage was a testament to this wisdom. They shared a bond that was built on mutual respect, understanding, and a healthy dose of humor. My father taught me that a successful marriage requires effort, patience, and the ability to find joy in the little things. As I watch my son navigate his own relationships, I hope he remembers these lessons and finds a partner who brings out the best in him.

Financial wisdom was another area where my father excelled. He often said, “Save for a rainy day, but don’t forget to dance in the rain.” This balanced approach to money management was something he learned from my grandfather, who survived the Great Depression. My father believed in the importance of saving and investing wisely, but he also understood the value of enjoying life. He taught me to be prudent with my finances, but not to the point of missing out on life’s pleasures. This is a lesson I am keen to pass on to my son, ensuring that he understands the importance of financial security while also appreciating the present.

Resolving arguments was another area where my father’s wisdom shone through. He often said, “In every argument, seek to understand before seeking to be understood.” This advice, passed down from my grandfather, emphasized the importance of empathy and active listening. My father believed that most conflicts could be resolved if both parties took the time to understand each other’s perspectives. This approach not only helped him in his professional life but also in his personal relationships. I often remind my son that effective communication is the key to resolving conflicts and building strong relationships.

As I compile these letters and memories, I am struck by the timeless nature of my father’s wisdom. His advice on money, love, career, and conflict resolution has not only shaped my life but will also guide my son as he navigates his own journey. My father often said, “Wisdom is not just about knowing what to do, but also about knowing when to do it.” This is a lesson I carry with me every day, and one that I hope my son will carry forward as well.

In writing this ode to my father, I am reminded of the profound impact that intergenerational wisdom can have on our lives. The lessons passed down from my grandfather to my father, and now to me, are a testament to the enduring power of family and tradition. As I prepare to pass this wisdom on to my son, I am filled with a sense of gratitude and responsibility. I hope that he, too, will one day look back on these lessons with the same appreciation and pass them on to his own children, ensuring that our family’s legacy of wisdom continues to thrive.